The last day

On the last day at the center the children had a going away ceremony planned. We did not, however, see it all. It began with some beautiful songs led by Betty and Sam. There was a procession of girls in grass skirts that danced. There was intent praying for us and our safe travels. There was a time where the kids were able to tell what they were thankful for. One little boy from Shengi got up and told how thankful he was to have a place to sleep and food to eat since his father died in a ferry accident and his mother couldn't feed him. Then he sat down, put his head in his hands and cried. That was the beginning of the end. The next song was one where the kids would sing verses to each of the American women leaving. Sam and Betty's sponsor Lori was on this trip and as the song started Sam sang the verse 'thank you mommy Lori, you gave us hope when all our hope was gone' and all the kids joined in to say 'it is hard to say goodbye to someone like you'. Anyone who has followed TRS and knows the background in this relationship knows that those verses couldn't be more true. The place Sam, Betty, and Fallah came from is the stuff of horror movies and nightmares. A place where any unimaginably horrible thing that could happen-did. So Sam had a hard time getting the words out and I had a hard time holding back sobs. When I looked over at Lori, she couldn't hide the tears behind her sunglasses. Next was Karen who sponsors Fatmata. Fatmata sang, 'thank you auntie Karen, you gave us love when all.....'. She couldn't finish because she was crying. I pulled out a tissue b/c at this point there is no disguising my own tears. During each of these verses I discretely looked at Albert and John. I was trying not to make eye contact knowing the risk I ran of sobbing uncontrollably. To late. Albert was crying. Oh no, oh no. Amy confirms what I just saw and I have to go to him. As the kids sang on I held Albert to me while he cried so hard his body palpatated. No noise, just crying. And I am so far gone. This is breaking my heart. The song ends and the caretakers tell the kids they can go hug the aunties. So every kid swarms the women and there is a time of everyone just crying. Like a funeral. I looked around thinking about what a bizarre event I was witnessing. I looked for John and when I found him he too was crying. I picked him up and held him for a minute rubbing the back of his neck. We all sat down and all I could do was tell them that I was coming back. Uncle Andrew and I were coming back. But they already know. Even thought we will be back it will be many months. As we left I felt so terrible. It was an extremely long set of flights home. My stomach was tense and my throat was strained from holding back the symphony that I didn't want the other passengers to hear. My eyelids are tired not only from the lack of sleep but from holding back an inevitable flood. And at about 3:00pm on Wednesday I was happily reunited with my family at the airport. But as we walk out I can't help but think of a place half way around the world where there are 79 little people who are laying their heads down for the night that have no hope of being reunited with theirs. Make no mistake about what I am saying. They have fantastic caregivers and teachers, and The Raining Season is a really great place. But it is still an orphanage. They can't celebrate every birthday. They don't have parents telling them how proud they are when they learned to dress themselves, when they have great results on report cards or even when they do well on their driving tests. If they fall down there is only time to quickly assess the injuries and brush off when there are 79 kids to care for. You don't get held until you calm down because there's not time for that. As great as the caretakers are they aren't able to ask each child personally how their day was. And so my heart hurts for these kids. They are such beautiful little spirits and deserve so much more than that. This is not the last day I will see them, but it is the last day I will see them for months. All I can do for now is pray that God will give them peace and courage until the very last day when they will have all they dreamed and more. When love will be in abundance and they will never fear if they will eat the next day. And I will be there then, laughing, dancing and singing a different song right alongside them.





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The Covering

Today Dr. Auntie Nicole did checkups on all the kids and it turns out a few had to go in for sicknesses. One of which was Malige. They were gone for a short while and I didn't really think many people noticed them depart but when they drove back in all these kids went running to the car yelling, 'MALIGE! MALIGE! MALIGE!' in almost a cheering chant like form. I was so taken aback. Erica and I just looked at each other in surprise. What a sweet little family of kids this is. He was truely missed by his friends and they were so concerned. Isn't that the sweetest thing in the world?

the poorest place in the world

I just kept trying to look forward, following Lori's lead to jump a puddle when necessary. I tried not to notice the dog who had taken a machete to the back and I REALLY tried not to notice the woman who had taken one to the face. I being the usually chatty type did not open my mouth, but it wasn't because I didn't want to talk. There were bugs. If I did, I said short answers and held my teeth together. Once we got to the center of kroo bay I listened intently as the people welcomed us. I couldn't understand or hear what they were saying. As I was trying to keep up this mind game of not talking or looking I watched the area about the size of two soccer fields. It was all dirt, with some mud puddles from the rain. I saw a pig leave its mark. Jessie said in my ear that all these kids just pile into people's homes at night because most of them are orphaned. What? I forgot my mind game for a split second. I saw some of the kids faces full of anticipation. And before long the games began. The boys on our team had given away every soccer ball and every team began playing around with their new prize. I began to count how many naked children there were, how many with only undies on. I lost count. Then I forgot to only look forward because suddenly I had to step back. They were kicking the ball our way and running through the muddy pig refuse. It splashed right before me almost onto one of my teammates. They were barefoot! All the sudden one of the women grabbed my hand. I struggled mentally to smile and shake her hand and when I tried to pull away she held it tight smiling and trying to talk to me. Oh no. So I squeezed her, smiled and tried again still to no avail. She isn't going to let go. Still smiling. Still trying to talk to me and I still can't understand. So I diverted the attention to the baby she was holding and then I forgot again. I did the pigs to market game with her fingers and tried to tickle the baby who did not think it was funny. Probably because children are smart. Then I noticed the large empty yellow jug she kept scooting around to keep close to her. Probably her water jug. Then it was time to follow the team back to the cars and go. I am ready. Just as I thought I had escaped she was there again, to walk me out. She held my hand all the way up the hill. She mysteriously found that third hand I always wish I had when I am holding Ivey. She held her baby and jug and my hand. And while I got in the car and drove back to the hotel I had to think about who won. She was the picture of hospitality, trying to engage me in conversation and make me feel comfortable, walking me out as a face for her people thanking me for the visit. And when I lie down tonight in this air conditioned room on this mattress and pillow-with a blanket, she will collect water for herself and her baby that is full of parasites and she will probably go back to a tin shingled hut and lay on the ground. Who knows if she will eat tonight or even tomorrow for that matter. And I would like a rematch. Because in the war of the spirit I know already that I fell short. I already know I disappointed on a grand scale. Since I can’t go back I have to go forward and hope that I am able to do it again. I will not look only forward, I will look around. I will not stay silent and clench my teeth about this atrocity. I will not choose to draw back but to embrace these lost souls who suffer much. And I am so thankful that I got to learn that lesson by the grace of that sweet girl. And I’ll pray that if she noticed my discomfort that she is comforted in knowing she was the bigger person.

malaria

So now that the word is out I'll just tell everyone now that I am back to 100%. I got it a few days ago and it totally knocked me out of beach day. I hated that I missed that whole day with the kids but it is what it is. I had to get some shots but I felt better the next day. I wasn't planning to tell anyone b/c I didn't want anyone to worry. I really am ok. Thanks for all the prayers and concerns.

Silly Faces

This video of Albert and Isatu is so funny.

Jeniba laughs

Andrew: You wake me up every day. Don’t need no starbucks. I was like baby baby baby OOOOOOOHHHHHH. Like baby baby baby OOOOOHHHH. That was on Foday’s radio today and I just had to laugh and think of you! For anyone who doesn’t know, Andrew is a huge Justin Beiber and Miley Cirus fan.
This day was mostly spent at the center. We gave the kids their sponsor gifts. For some of them it was the first toy they had ever had. Amazing what a joy a $1 hot wheel can be.
There are so many little things I noticed today that I decided to just make a list instead of paragraph form.
• Sierra Leonian drivers honk their horns more in one day than Americans do in two years. They honk for all the people in the street to move. They honk at dogs. They honk at the guards to open the doors.
• We passed a gate today where someone had handwritten in white paint ‘look out for bad dogs’. I don’t know why but that really made me laugh for a long time.
• TO HOLLY: The kids loved the bears, raccoons, rabbits, and bumble bee’s! You should be so proud of all the time and hard work you spent on your hot chocolate and lemonade stand. Here are a few pictures for you.


• Jeneba laughs and smiles now!!! If that were the only thing I saw this week I would be reaffirmed that The Covering is a great place.
• Today I saw bulges in John’s pockets so I asked him what he had in there. He proudly displayed one red and one blue bottle cap (like from a plastic water bottle). I am not sure what he usually does with such treasures but today we tried to flip them by slamming our fingers on the rim. He laughed hysterically so it attracted the attention of several others which began a long line of ‘turns’. Why do I note this? Because he obviously wanted them and yet he didn’t try to keep them in his possession. He was happy to let the others play it to. I was surprised because I mistakenly assumed he would act selfishly. Why would I assume the worst when everything I have seen from these kids indicates the opposite? They are so helpful to each other. I saw several kids at lunchtime feeding the younger kids. And I saw several sharing their brand new toys from sponsors willingly and happily as soon as they walked around the corner with them. I also saw Albert standing by Dauda looking concerned and supportive when he got a bad scrape on his shin. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, they are such beautiful little people!
• If you would like to give to a great cause for 79 orphans, there are 2 needs at the center: one is a water tank which cost about $900 to buy and install. Also, they need a generator which runs about $1200. For more information you can go to Savetheorphan.blogspot.com
• So, after watching the process of feeding about 75 kids I have decided not to complain about how many pieces of silverware we go through or how I have to sweep after every meal. These people do such a great job! Everything runs so smoothly, especially considering the staff to kid ratio.
• Lastly, the staff had washed and hung all the laundry to dry before they went home for the day. After a while I saw a few of the pieces had blown off b/c they don’t use clips they just drape them over the line which by the way happens to be high on one side and very low on the other. So I went over to pick them up and put them back on the line. Isatu followed me and ran her hand down the length of the line bunching the clothes up until they would fall off in the dirt. I turned around and said “No Isatu” and began hanging them again. Just as I got the first one up she had gone around me to the other side and did it again! And twice while she was doing it I said very sternly “No Isatu!” and she giggled and giggled and did it a third time! I had to get Fodey to tell her to stop. I would like to give her the benefit of the doubt and say she didn’t understand but I find it highly unlikely……..

Beach Day

Unfortunatly, John wasn't feeling well so he didn't have a great day but everyone else definately did.

impressions

It is so funny what misconceptions you can have. What thoughts you think under total assumptions. And, it is funny what you can be totally spot on about without any knowledge of it. I met John and Isatu's father today. He was smaller than I imagined. Only about an inch taller than me. I wasn't nervous b/c I assumed he wouldn't be there. Then when we drove up all the sudden there he was and here I am looking like a mess coming from serving at the hospital all morning in the heat. For the second day in a row I felt like a complete nerd but what can you do when you are one. So, I just had to hope that he would like me as I was. And he almost cried. He hugged me. Several times. He held my hand and walked me through his home. I complimented his home and he proudly posed for photos with me. I lost count of how many times he said thank you. And we both understood some strange connection of caring for his kids. And I love him. I love this man that I do not know because he is a pastor of the United Methodist Church there in Grafton. I love him because he gave up a most prized possession-3 actually-in a selfless act to help others. And I love him because he totally accepted me and was so kind. He was exactly who I pictured him to be when I first saw his children. Just not as tall.

Andrew, I am happy to tell you that I did not see Yanni at St. George's Foundation and I did not give her the photos. I found out she was one of the Network kids and has been reunited with her family. Praise God for saving her life. So, I gave the 4 photos to the other kids there and told them how I was your wife and that you were sad you couldn't come but that it was my turn to get to visit them. I also took a photo with them that I told them we would bring copies of the next time we are there. Also, I am so happy to report that Lucy was doing great! We were so amazed that she was responsive, hugging Lori, and clapping with the beat when the other kids were. I couldn't have been happier about that.

We only saw the kids for about an hour today since we were on the east side of town all day. I felt bad because the kids just woke up when we got there and we very groggy. Then I really think Albert was disappointed when I had to leave so quickly. I know I was. We did spend the time drawing and I have a great little page of doodles that are supposed to be me, andrew, levi and ivey in my journal courtesy of Albert. Tomorrow we are supposed to leave at 9:30 and go to the beach all day with the kids. I am so excited! Pray for safe travels since we will be transporting at least 100 people on roads that are about as safe as hunting in Arkansas.

Also, I have nothing to say about the children's hospital. Like they say, pictures speak a thousand words.

Unexpected Events

yesterday I new I would lose connections so I posted a short bit and did photos and sure enough I did. Here is a little more lengthy post to go with the photos from yesterday.
Today we were all supposed to be ready to go at 8:00am and Osseh had trouble getting the cars together so we all spent about 2 ½ hours trying to get online and trying not to go nuts with anticipation. The drive probably took 10-15 minutes but felt like a lifetime simply because I could not wait to meet these children. When Jessie announced that we had just turned onto the final hill I thought we were about to have to get out and walk b/c it was REALLY steep. Kelly, Jessie, and I came to a consensus that it is probably a 40 degree incline. As we come up to the center Quami honks to let them know we were there, they open the gates and all the kids are singing and holding welcome signs. I immediately spotted Albert-the oldest child we sponsor. I waved and smiled like a wild woman. I know I looked crazy. Frantically I visually searched the crowd of 79 kids to find John and Isatu to no avail. Such a mix of emotions flooded me; Excitement, JOY and a slight nervousness to name a few. We parked and got out as all the kids came toward us. All of the kids had chairs sat out in rows and went to take their seats. As they sang a few songs I spotted John and then Isatu. After the last one sat down one of the leaders told the adults to go sit in any seats not taken. An amazing stroke of good fortune happened and John moved seats to come sit in my area so I asked him if he would like to share my chair. He did! All through the program I would go back and forth from gawking at John’s gorgeous face to smiling and waving like a lunatic at Albert who kept leaning forward to smile and wave back. After the program ended John picked up my very heavy backpack to carry it for me even though it was about as big as him. Albert made a bee line for us and I probably squeezed him too hard but I don’t know if I could help it….probably not! There was just too much of an overflow of love coming out. I still hadn't met Isatu so Albert went and got her and we got the chance to talk and take photos. The first thing Albert said when he saw the camera was ‘Uncle Andrew’ and pointed at the camera. Then the first photo that popped up was of Levi and he immediately said his name and the same when Ivey’s photo came up. He remembered! I looked up and realized that somehow an event that I had longed for but had prepared myself wouldn’t happen-happened. I was with all three at the same time…and only one other person was there. Did I mention there are 79 kids at this place? How did this amazing thing happen? How is it that I am kneeling here with these three people laughing and talking just like I had (unrealistically I thought) envisioned? Albert led us in to take a tour of the Covering and as we went up the steps he pointed to the bottom row and told me about when Uncle Andrew was there they did pictures and videos on that step. He doesn’t know that I’ve watched that video more times than I’ve brushed my teeth in the last 3 months. We got to see the classroom/devotional room. I got to meet Hamidu, Dauda, and a host of other kids that I have prayed for and looked forward to meeting for many months now. I LOVE the look of surprise they have when you know their name. One kid asked if I could take him to America. That is a hard question to answer. You feel like your going to crush all their hopes and dreams. After seeing the classroom Albert showed me his bed. He has a blanket with horses and John showed me his bed with hockey sticks and pucks. Sounds simple but it is their only personal little spot on earth. So I told them how much I liked their blankets and beds and Albert wanted me to meet his teachers so we headed off to our next excursion. The teachers were very complimentary of him and said he was a very good boy and that he has been doing very well in school. I told him how proud I was of him and couldn’t have meant it any more. Somewhere along the way Isatu found something more fun that walking around with us and so it was just the three of us left. We probably spent about 20 minutes taking silly photo’s together. I let them take turns taking the picture and they loved it! I had to say goodbye to go to a meeting with the team but I could have stayed all day right there in that spot with those people just laughing with them. After the meeting the team was about to leave to go to lunch but as we walked out there was loud music coming from the back followed by an announcement by one of the kids that the girls had their grass skirt’s on. We all went running around the corner to see the event and it was a fun site to see. All the older girls were wearing what looks similar to a Hawaiian skirt and were dancing to African looking drums being played by two of the other kids. I stood back while the others went closer so that I could get my camera out of my bag.
I looked up to see Isatu coming toward me so I bent down to talk to her. I’ve been told by several people who have been around Isatu on the past trip that she isn’t the type to just sit in you lap. I had been expressing that I couldn’t wait to just hold her and they were letting me know that I shouldn’t get my hopes up. She is very busy. So I bent down and talked to her for a few minutes and asked if I could hold her. She said yes! and she did! for a long time! AND she didn’t want me to put her down when I had to go. I was really surprised but even more surprising is that when we got back from lunch she spent quite a bit of time in my lap playing, talking and laughing with me and the others.
At some point I was playing with some other kids when I heard someone crying and realized it was John. He is very quiet usually but was flailing around and crying as if he were in pain. The care taker told me he had had an injection for malaria and that his bottom hurt. It was the same type of shot Jessie had and she told us they really are very sore for days. The way he was crying broke my heart just as if it were Levi or Ivey so what could I do but go run to his ‘rescue’ and scoop him up. I held him while he cried and laid his head on my shoulder feeling such a deep sense of love for him. We went to get a water bag and I toted that seven year old (good thing he’s on the small side) up two flights of stairs and back down again. And you know, I felt privileged to walk every step of that. How many times I have longed to hold him and comfort him and here in this moment an opportunity presented itself. We sat together for at least an hour and a half watching the other kids play soccer and he would occasionally get excited about some move or save or something and whenever anyone would come along to sit with us I would just make sure they didn’t get to wild and bump his leg. He tried to tell me things a couple of times that I couldn’t understand but he did ask me where Levi was. And while he had trouble remembering her name he tried to ask about Ivey as well. I thought that was sweet.
So, three unexpected events made this day one of the best days I have ever had. I am still reeling a little about it and as I write this I am thinking about how I wish that I could write words so precisely that you could fully understand the magnitude this day holds on my life. I wish that you could understand the full joy that I am still feeling from the fact that I met, hugged, held, talked to, and laughed with these beautiful beautiful people. Maybe the only way is for you to come yourself.

2 unlikely events

In a nutshell, I got to hold Isatu and I got to spend one on one time with the three we sponsor even though it was a pretty much 0% chance that would happen in an orphanage with 79 kids. It was not something I tried to do nor planned out in any way but to the contrary had decided was not an option. Isatu is way to active to let anyone hold her but she spent quite a bit of time doing whatever she could to get me to hold her and was clinging to me when I had to leave to go to lunch. I couldn't have asked for a better day.

Sierra Leone Day one

1. The most eventful thing I can say about our traveling to get to Freetown is that some drunk guy almost got kicked off the plane for getting overly excited and hitting two girls on our team, unsuccessfully gave Kelly a high-five, and dropped a few f-bombs.
2. Once in Freetown I had my first helicopter ride which was fun.
3. We got to our hotel and found out it didn't have internet connection, a conference room or a toilet in Ericas case so we had to move all 31 huge donation bags and all of our own bags to another hotel. I think we ended up getting in bed at 1:30pm.
4. We went to dinner at a place called Alex's and I had chicken schmarma by candlelight and the ocean.
Some guys came out in the water eating fire sticks which was unexpected.
5. I can't believe we are 5 minutes from the center and I am seeing the kids in the morning. It is so difficult at this point to be patient.